Ep 10: Rebecca’s Struggle With Infertility, Hospital Transport, and Eventual Homebirth

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What motivates you to share your story?  In Rebecca’s case, she knew that she couldn’t be the only one who struggled to conceive.  She and her husband tried to become pregnant for several years before putting away the idea and beginning to consider adoption.  To say that they were surprised several months later when Rebecca became pregnant would be an understatement.  In this episode, Rebecca reveals her struggle, her faith, and her eventual success.  She shares her story to provide comfort to those who, like her, have experienced deep hurt over infertility.   

Show Notes

-Rebecca and her husband were married in 2013

-Because they were 34 and 35, they both thought it would be possible that they could struggle with becoming pregnant, so they began trying soon after their marriage.

-Rebecca discusses the incredible discomfort after getting off her birth control- she likens it to going through withdrawals.  Her body was acting as though it was pregnant when she knew she was not.

-She discusses the grief and pain she felt as all of the newlywed couples around her so easily go pregnant, while she and her husband struggled and received the news that IVF was going to be their best option.

-Rebecca says she learned that she had to trust the Lord, and he took her to a place where in December of 2015, she remembers realize her self-worth was not tied up in motherhood, her career, or even womanhood.  Rather, her self-worth was completely tied up in God.

-She remembers making a facebook post on December 12, 2015 stating that she had peace and had come to terms with her journey…. And exactly one year from that date, December 12, 2016 Rebecca gave birth to her first son.

-At that point (Dec 2015), they had decided that they were going to stop trying and pursue adoption.

-In April of 2016 Rebecca returned from a conference feeling rather “crummy.”  She assumed she had picked some type of bug up on the trip.  Her nursing coworkers begged her to take a pregnancy test.  She finally did, and it was positive!

-“I choose to speak about the infertility, because so many women feel like they’re alone, and feel like they’re the only one walking this path…. And they’re not.”

-Rebecca was seeing an OB at the time, but decided to switch to a homebirth midwife.  She connected very deeply with her midwife and had an amazing prenatal experience

-Labor, however did not go according to plan: She went into labor around 10:00 on a Friday night.  By 3:00 am, everything had stopped.  Contractions were completely gone.  This lasted all day Saturday and into Sunday afternoon.  She did everything she could to get labor to progress: Walking, birthing ball, position changes… nothing would get contractions to come back consistently.

-On Sunday afternoon, Rebecca decided she needed to get out of the house and walk (in the freezing cold!!).

-By 11:30pm on Sunday night, Rebecca was at 8 cm.  After hitting 8 cm, she once again would not progress. 

-By 9:00 am, Rebecca’s midwife mentioned to her that it might be time to head to the hospital to receive some rest with an epidural, and Rebecca agreed.

-She went to the hospital, received the epidural, was able to sleep for several hours, and then was able to push her baby out by 6:00 that evening.

-With her second child, she found out that she was pregnant in a very interesting way!  After having a fall through a step in her house, she began taking Motrin for the pain. A few days in, she had the random thought, “Maybe I shouldn’t be taking this Motrin… Maybe I should take a pregnancy test.” No other symptoms, yet the test came back positive!

– For their second birth, Rebecca’s mother came over in the morning to pick up her 2-year-old, as she keeps him while Rebecca works. 

-At 7:30 am Rebecca was having small contractions that were irregular and not very timeable.  This continued until about 2:00 pm.

-At 2:00 contractions quickly began to become consistent, longer, stronger and closer together.

-With things suddenly moving so quickly, Rebecca was worried her midwife might not make it!  When she heard her midwife’s voice in the house, she was completely relieved and ready.

-Within 10 minutes, Rebecca had the baby!

-She had no tearing, no complications, and Donovan was wide awake and crying when he was born.

-“I was on such a high after it was all over—that I had done it—completely at home, completely unmedicated.”

-Her second birth was 11 hours, start to finish.

-When describing the emotions after she gave birth, Rebecca says, “it was both powerful and euphoric all at the same time.”

-Rebecca and her midwife laugh about the fact that they’ve had the birth pool set up twice and never used it… this time she gave birth on the couch!

-When commenting on her story, particularly with infertility, Rebecca says, “There is power in knowing that you’re not alone.”

Episode Round-up:

    1. Have faith in the hard times
    1. Sharing your story, even the struggle, removes the crippling grip of isolation and builds stronger communal bonds
    Open communication and trust in your care provider are key to a successful birth

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Stephanie Sibbio’s Glowing Mama To Be Course: www.myhappyhomebirth.com/glowingmamacourse (15% off with the code: happyhomebirth15 )

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Hatched at Home-Midwife Carrie LaChapelle: www.hatchedathome.com

https://www.facebook.com/MidwifeCarrieLachapelleLMCPM/

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Show Notes:

-Kerry is the founder and creator of Hypnobabies, which was created in 2001.

-She created the program after having her own two births.  At that time, she was a Bradley Instructor.

-Both of her babies were posterior (“sunny side up”) which caused for labors that she describes as extremely painful.  She felt that the Bradley Method was wonderful for teaching about labor, but did not help her cope well enough with the pain.

-After 26 hours of pain, she had an epidural, which she says helped her become a more understanding childbirth educator- she could certainly understand the need/desire for a mother to have an epidural.

– During her second birth, her sister saw her in agony and said, “It should never have to be this hard.”

-Kerry set forth to find a way to make childbirth easier for women.

-She soon saw a tv program about a doctor who was using hypnosis for his patients, and how their birthings were going much better.

-Kerry went to a training for this.  She then attended births using this method, and the women were all still clearly in pain.

-She decided there was something else that she needed to find.  She became a Certified Hypnotherapist, and took several specialty courses.  One of which was Gerald Kein’s “Painless Childbirth” program.

-She transformed Kein’s information with his excited permission, into a childbirth education program. 

-“The goal of Hypnobabies is to have the easiest, most comfortable birthing possible” by using deep, somnambulistic hypnosis. 

-Hypnobabies is considered “medical grade” hypnosis.  This type of hypnosis is used for patients who are allergic to anesthesia.  They use this type of hypnosis when having surgery.

What Makes Hypnobabies Different?!

– Kerry’s philosophy is that if you are learning childbirth hypnosis, you need to learn your childbirth education at the same place.  This ensures that the hypnosis and education support a mother’s mindset and belief that she can in fact have an easy, joyful birth experience.

The Hypnobabies program covers all aspects of childbirth education: nutrition, how a mother can help keep herself low-risk, the stages of labor, how to use hypnosis throughout those stages, hypnosis for pregnancy, selecting a compatible care provider and birthing place, questions to ask care providers, information about doulas and midwives, natural comfort measures for pregnancy, risk/benefit analysis for interventions, creating a birth plan, informed consent, optimal fetal positioning, anatomy and physiology of late pregnancy & birthing, avoiding induction and cesarean, benefits of delayed cord clamping, birth partner preparation, and even a birthing rehearsal. 

-Hypnobabies even provides information about new mothers and babies: how to take care of the new mother and baby, etc. 

-Hypnobabies provides a “change of plans” script: This allows mom to stay in hypnosis, even though something might be changing from the original birth plan.

-Eyes Open Childbirth Hypnosis- this is unique to Hypnobabies.  Moms learn to walk and talk an change positions all without losing focus in hypnosis.

-Hypnobabies Birth Visualization Track:  Mom goes through a mental birth rehearsal (the way they want it to be) as she listens to this track.  Practicing whatever they want to do or accomplish helps on the actual day of labor… the repetition programs your subconscious mind to produce the birth you want.  It’s practically a blueprint for the birthing.

-Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations Track: They really do change the state of mind of the mother during her pregnancy. 

-Kerry mentions that birth often times progresses more quickly than expected with the Hypnobabies mother.  This is why the program comes with a Quick Reference Booklet.  More than other times, a mother might seem completely calm and relaxed when she is actually very close to having her baby.

-Many women have told Kerry that they chose to have a homebirth after taking Hypnobabies because they had the confidence of knowing they could give birth peacefully without the use of medication.

-She discusses the fact that Hypnobabies acknowledges how every mother knows what she needs.  The program is there to give information, and to allow the mother to feel confident in whatever choices she decides are best for her and her family.

-Kerry mentions that sometimes, for whatever reason, a mom might do all of the practicing, but then not follow through during her birth.  She reminds moms that to get the full effect, it’s important to use the cues, listen to the tracks, or have their birth partner read the scripts during the actual birthing time.

-“Peace” is the most powerful hypnoanesthesia cue.

Moms Wanting to Learn More About Hypnobabies/Find Local Instructors:

hypnobabies.com

    You can select from an online homestudy course, the “classic homestudy”, or find a local instructor

Make sure you also check out:

-Becoming a Hypnobabies Childbirth Instructor: the training is coming up in late April of 2019

-Becoming a Hypnodoula

You can also find more on facebook, twitter, Instagram and Hypnobabies even has a youtube channel!

www.facebook.com/hypnobabies

www.youtube.com/hypnobabies

www.twitter.com/hypnobabies

https://www.instagram.com/hypnobabiesofficial_/

Episode Roundup:

1. Labor does NOT have to be scary and painful- prepare yourself for this life-altering event by taking the time to educate yourself about childbirth. I 100% recommend finding a private course, not just the one your hospital dishes out at their tour.

2. If you decide to use Hypnobabies, commit! Use the advice and resources given here by the actual creator of the course to give yourself the most joyful, peaceful labor you can have.

3. Be sure to involve your birthing team in your childbirth preferences. If you choose to use Hypnobabies, make sure your midwife/doula/OB and birth partner are on board and know what that means for their role.