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You’ve hired a midwife, so you’re fine, right? I mean, all midwives are totally amazing, totally wonderful, and totally good at honoring you…. Right?
This week we’re speaking with Bethany, who has given birth to all of her babies at home. However, her first birth experience was not the beautiful, gloriously supported homebirth that we talk about so often on this podcast. No, it was marked with negligence and abuse, and it’s an important conversation for us to have. Luckily we’ll then get to hear the beautiful difference to this experience with her subsequent births.
Before we jump in, let’s take a quick moment to think our reviewer of the week, K Riord who writes
Love this motivational podcast! I am currently pregnant and have enjoyed this podcast so much! I have learned so much about birth.
And if you’re gaining value from this show, would you hop over to apple podcasts and leave us a review? They’re basically Christmas presents to me, and they help tremendously with this show’s reach.
Okay, let’s jump in. Please remember the opinions of my guest many not necessarily reflect my own vice versa; and this show is not meant to prescribe or treat- it’s an educational tool, so continue to take empowered responsibility for your health and your family.
So… I think we’ve learned some things in this episode, eh? As we head into this week’s episode roundup, here’s what I’m mulling over…
- Red flags. Little oddities. Gut feelings. Don’t push these to the side, as much as you may want to explain them away. If you’re feeling uncertain about your care provider, that’s a good sign that more interviews with other care providers is a great next step. There’s nothing wrong with a second opinion or four. Speak with other midwives, notice how they engage with you, and really consider your situation. My heart breaks with how Bethany was left feeling, and I know she’s not the only one who has ever had an experience like this.
- Obviously as this story demonstrates, using a midwife isn’t enough. Just as there are some truly incredible, amazing obstetricians, there are some downright bad midwives, and we can’t just turn our eyes from that and pretend like it isn’t true.
- If you have a negative experience with a midwife, as hard as it may be to do so, don’t be silent. Whether it means speaking to your midwife individually and discussing what happened and sharing how you feel about it, or whether it means warning others in your community so that they don’t go into a relationship blind, speak up.
- And finally, look at the difference between Bethany’s stories. So much of our well-being and comfort and peace in labor can be wrapped up in our care provider. Bethany mentions how scared she was to go into labor with her second baby because of her first experience. But by the time she was entering labor with baby number 3, she was excited. Yes, she knew there would be discomfort, but she also knew she was supported and she could do it.
I just listened to this episode and my jaw is on the ground. I can’t believe there were three midwives and no one caught Bethany’s daughter! I am so sorry this was your experience!
I too have a low threshold for pain, and I delivered my son at a birthing center with a midwife and it was completely different. I wish I could have passed my experience to you!! Glad that you have had other experiences.