When you describe your labor and birth, what words come to mind? Difficult? Intense? Powerful? What about…. Euphoric?
Today we’re going to be talking to my friend Rose, of Rose Uncharted– Rose is a wife and mother of 3 children born at home. She began cultivating an online presence on instagram by sharing her unconventional lifestyle choices and ideas, and by pushing back against the societal norms of how we should live and raise our babies in this modern age. Her signature message has been to encourage women to tune back into their simple innate God given intuition and to take their bodies and their health into their own hands. She’ll be sharing her 3 homebirth stories, and I can pretty much guarantee that there will be chills or tears by the time we finish this episode, specifically around that very idea of a euphoric birth.
- We’ve got to start asking midwives the right questions from the very beginning. Every midwife deserves to operate her practice how she sees fit, just like every mother deserves to find a care provider who is comfortable with her desires. Not every mother and midwife are going to make a perfect pair, and that’s not a bad thing. Not every man and every woman make a perfect pair either– it’s all about having discernment, asking the right questions before signing any paperwork, and then working together as a team from there on out. Yes I just compared midwifery and marriage and I’m just going to keep rolling. Listen, like Rose said, we’ve got to find alignment. If at all possible, we’ve got to find that midwife who you trust and who trusts you right back. It makes a world of difference. So many mothers ask me, “what questions do I need to ask?” And before giving out any specifics, I always like to say– you’ve got to figure out what you want first. I may want very different things from my care provider than you do. What do you want, what’s non-negotiable? Figure it out for yourself before you even begin formulating a list of questions.
- Next, I loved Rose’s explanation of labor waves. Sometimes you may find yourself riding the crest, and other times you’ve got to go limp in the undertow for a bit. Relaxation is the way through, as Rose described having her husband Isaac hold her body weight as she went completely limp through the heavy surges.
- And finally, labor can be euphoric. Not just the moment that our baby enters the world, though that certainly is part of it– but the entire experience can be exactly what we’ve prayed for, just like it was for Rose. It’s one of the reasons that we talk about envisioning your birth so much throughout happy homebirth academy– it’s so wonderful to spend our time thinking of good, beautiful things, and that is absolutely what our labor can be.