Ep 45: This is the Birth I Wanted Transcript

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Katelyn Fusco 0:03
Welcome to the happy home birth podcast, your source for positive natural childbirth stories in your community of support, education and encouragement, and all things home birth and motherhood. Well, Hey there, everyone and welcome to the happy home birth podcast. I’m your host, Katelyn Fusco. And this is Episode 45. And I want to take the opportunity to start this episode off with a question that is very near and dear to my heart, especially right now. Preparation for childbirth, did you take it seriously. Now don’t get me wrong, this certainly does not look the same for everyone. For many, it’s a formal class, but for others, you know, it can be as simple as a grounding mantra. This is the birth that I wanted. Our members reciting the seven words to herself each time she would feel any sense of nervousness over her upcoming home birth, she knew she could do it. After all, she’d given birth in the hospital before and quickly at that. But this phrase helped her maintain a mindset of both gratitude and positivity. Now, I can’t wait to dive into this episode with you guys. It is a stellar episode. Before we do and in relation to what I just mentioned, though, I want to give you guys some exciting news. So some of you might remember that last episode, I told you guys that there is going to be a founding members version of the happy home birth Academy course, that is starting on the week of October 21. So super, super soon. If you are interested in being a founding member, email me right now, Katelyn at my happy home birth calm and let me know. Because here’s the deal, this version of the course is going to be so cool, because it’s going to be a live version, it’s going to be the most integrated that this course will ever be. And it’s going to be a chance for you to work with me one on one and help mold the final outcome of what the course is going to be that launches in January, you will also get access to that full and final course in January for free. So email me and let any of your friends that are currently pregnant and wanting to have a home birth. Let them know about this opportunity because it’s going to obviously fill up and start very quickly. I also want to mention that I just rebranded just got a new logo thanks to my incredible brother in law who is super, super great at creating things and designing things. We worked it out over this weekend. And it’s ready to go. And in celebration of that we got some t shirts, y’all. So please go to my happy home birth calm forward slash shop, you can find it straight on the homepage of the website to up in the menu and purchase a happy home birth t shirt. I can’t wait to rock mine and my daughter Janie is already asking. So it’s going to be done through bonfire. So there has to be a minimum number of people who order before the T shirts will be printed. So tell your buddies to order to a minimum of like five. So hopefully we’ll get that pretty quickly. Anyway, that’s all that I have for you guys right now. Don’t forget to go to iTunes and leave a review. If you’re feeling loving, and you’ll be getting a sticker from me. And now it’s going to be super fancy because we got the new logo on it. So don’t forget to do that. Please remember that the opinions of my guests might not necessarily reflect my own and vice versa. Neither one of us are acting as medical providers. So continue to see your doctor, your midwife or if you’re like me, your chiropractor, Allah, thank you so much for coming on the happy home birth podcast.

Alla Fineza 3:54
I’m really happy to be here with you today.

Katelyn Fusco 3:56
Well, I am also super excited. I’d love for you to start out by introducing yourself and your family to the listeners.

Alla Fineza 4:03
Okay, awesome. So my name is Alla. I am a resident of New Jersey, I am a dental hygienist. I have two beautiful girls, five year old and a two year old. And my my husband and two dogs. I was introduced to home birth by a friend when I was in my second pregnancy, I became literally obsessed with the subject and researched it day and night. took a little bit of convincing to get my husband on board. But I think that he is my biggest proponent now and will tell anybody that home birth is definitely the way to go.

Katelyn Fusco 4:45
Oh, I love to hear that. That’s it’s so funny. My husband is the same way. He’s He’s quick to offer unsolicited advice, like faster than I am. He’ll be out telling he’ll be telling everybody to have a home birth and I’m like, Okay, let’s, let’s just calm it down a little there, buddy.

Alla Fineza 5:02
Yeah, yeah, he was he was very, very skeptical of it when I first brought up the subject. And it took a few times to bring it up. And finally he said, you know, you keep talking about this. So I get the sense of this is something you’re really interested in. So you know, we should, we should find out more information. And he was still kind of nervous about it. But ultimately I just said, you know, when when you go through a pregnancy and birth, you can decide how you want to do it. But this, this is the way that we’re going to do this.

Katelyn Fusco 5:35
This one’s mine.

Alla Fineza 5:36
Yeah, yeah. And And afterwards, he said, yeah, this is so much so much better than the hospital birth, we had the first time around. So I’m very cool. Well, let’s

Katelyn Fusco 5:45
start there. Tell me what was your first pregnancy prenatal care and birth like?

Alla Fineza 5:52
So my first so Okay, so the first pregnancy, it was a bit unexpected, but we were very happy that that it happened and started along that journey. You know, I had a traditional ob, I was going in for lots of testing, my mom had some complications in her pregnancy with me. So I, I had kind of been warned in the past that some of those things may be genetic, and that I may have a predisposition to having issues getting pregnant or staying pregnant. So, you know, I had expressed those concerns to the OB, and they were monitoring me very closely, I was going in often for ultrasounds, alternating between the OB maternal fetal medicine doctor, there was a lot of extensive testing, some of it I didn’t feel comfortable with, and they kept pushing me. And I think that’s kind of when I got the first hint of, you know, I don’t I don’t like this, because I kept getting pushed into, like, you know, this, this is important, you need to do this, or you’re putting the baby’s life at risk. And I just didn’t understand why that was necessary, because things seem to be okay. So, you know, we got through the pregnancy, and my labor came on very suddenly. And I didn’t know you know, being first time Mom, I was kind of scared, like, Am I going to know when I’m in labor? Yeah, you you know, once the contractions come that this is this is what’s coming. So I had called my doctor, I was actually it was, it was my due date. And so I called my doctor and, and she had just checked me the day before. And she said, I really don’t think you’re in labor. You know, because I just checked you less than 24 hours ago. But if you want to go to the hospital, have them check you and they might send you home. Okay, go. So I went to the hospital, I was an active labor, my contractions are about five minutes apart. At that point, they admitted me. I got the epidural right away. And then it just kind of went into this, like script, I like to call it because I see a lot of moms going through the same script where you get the epidural, the labor stalls, they rupture your water to get things going, you know, going from there, then the baby’s heart rate dropped very suddenly, nobody even told me what was going on. They just kind of rushed in and through the oxygen mask on me. And we’re checking and everything. I feel very fortunate that my labor progress quickly, I know that if it didn’t, I would have ended up with a C section because I have other friends that have been in that same scenario. So the the labor delivery was okay, after that is when things got a little bit hairy. So I had my first daughter at a hospital in Manhattan, because we were living in the city. And then we moved to New Jersey, when I was like eight months pregnant, but I didn’t want to switch doctors. So we stayed we stayed with that hospital. In New York City. It is standard that everybody shares a recovery room after delivery. And if you want a private room, you have to pay between six to $700 a night which we had budgeted which we had budgeted for because I said there’s no way that I’m sharing a recovery.

Katelyn Fusco 9:27
That sounds awful.

Alla Fineza 9:29
Yeah, I understand that. It’s it’s totally first world problems. There are other like my husband’s family’s from the Philippines and their people literally share beds, they have four women to a bed in recovery. And they are they feel fortunate that they’re even able to be in the hospital, you know, so, so whatever. So we, you know, we come time to move to the recovery room, and they tell me, we’re sorry, but the hospital’s overbooked, we don’t have any private rooms. And I was freaking out. I was like, No, I’m just going to go home.

Katelyn Fusco 10:03
I’m feeling fine. at home.

Alla Fineza 10:06
Yeah, yeah, I’m just gonna go home. Okay, Mason. And obviously, that was not an option. So we went, you know, into the recovery. And, you know, if you’ve ever seen how rooms are, when they’re divided, they’re not, they’re not actually divided equally, you get like a smaller section that’s divided with a curtain towards the door, and then a bigger section that goes towards the window. While I was in that section towards the door, my roommate had guests coming in an out constantly, there was no policy against guests. So every time people would come in, they would inadvertently kind of pull the curtain open. Or they had, you know, children running around pulling the curtain open. And all of this just made me extremely anxious. And I reached out to my ob that evening, I emailed her, I said, you need to sign me out in the morning, I’m, I’m leaving, I’m not staying here. I can’t do it. And, you know, she messaged me back saying, okay, that’s fine. Then when it came time to leave, they wouldn’t let they wouldn’t release the baby. And I said, and I said, you know, obviously, I am not leaving the baby here. So then I was forced to say stay two nights, I had to stay two nights. Yeah. Which is, which is kind of standard. I know, now that I could have signed myself out, you know, against medical advice and and left and nobody could have stopped me. But, you know, obviously, nobody informed me of my rights. So yeah, so it was, you know, the the labor and delivery part was uneventful. And that was just it is what it is. But the whole recovery. And being in the hospital. I hated that. I hated that. And I really was not looking forward to going through that again. When I went when I got into my second pregnancy,

Katelyn Fusco 12:07
yeah, none of that is very conducive to bonding. You know,

Alla Fineza 12:10
it’s not, it’s not and it gave me It gave me a lot of anxiety. And really, I wouldn’t say I had, you know, postpartum on a massive scale, but it traumatized me. And I’m still traumatized by that experience. Right? I can completely understand

Katelyn Fusco 12:29
that. That’s, that’s a lot, especially with people coming in and out that you don’t know that you’re not comfortable with that. It just are there in your all the time.

Alla Fineza 12:40
Yeah, yeah, it was just, it was not not fun.

Katelyn Fusco 12:45
So so this is a big contrast here. second birth. So when you got pregnant with your second child, what was your plan? How would you consider doing something differently than the first time.

Alla Fineza 12:57
So with the second child, at that point, I

had been kind of on a different journey in my life, and I definitely leaned more towards having a natural experience and a more calm and supportive birth. So I was looking into using midwives. And particularly, I was very interested in having a water birth, because I had watched a lot of videos on water birth, and how that can be calming and soothing. And you know, that the water can relieve pain during labor. So I was very, very interested in that. And in New Jersey, at that time, there was only one hospital that allowed for water birth, there are other hospitals that allow labor in the water, but then you have to get out. And that didn’t, that didn’t appeal to me. So I had researched few different midwives, I’d gotten some recommendations, and I met with people. And I feel like that’s, that’s really important, because what works for me may not work for somebody else, and you really get the feeling and vibe of have a practice or have a certain place in person. So I had, you know, met with that with this midwife practice and decided that I was going to be using them for for my, for my pregnancy and for the delivery at the hospital to do the water birth.

Katelyn Fusco 14:33
Okay. Okay. Very nice. So still planning on a hospital birth, but recognizing the importance of the midwifery model of care, and this water birth aspect seemed like a really big deal to you.

Alla Fineza 14:46
Yes, yes. And I was also, then I became kind of nervous about it, because the hospital only has a limited amount of tubs, and its first come first serve. So if you get there, and you’re, you know, like, given my first experience, where I’m at the hospital, and they’re delivering babies in recovery rooms, I’m thinking, you know, this, this might be something that I show show up to, and then there is no tub available for me. Then, at this point, I was about halfway through my pregnancy, and I had a playdate with a friend, who had just delivered with my midwife group. But she had a home birth.


and I previously, you know, I know about home births, but I was really intimidated with the idea of it. And just just nervous. And I think that’s something that many of us have been kind of, I don’t want us were trained, but you know, it’s like our society just tells us that that’s, that’s not normal. And that’s dangerous. But, you know, this is somebody that I trusted and was very interested in her experience. And it just seemed, seemed Great. So I started researching home birth, became really, really interested in the idea. The next, the next hurdle, was getting my husband on board, because even when I told him about the idea of water birth in the hospital, he was taken back by that, but he slowly got on board. So when I told him when I first told him about home birth, he just flat out said, Absolutely not, you are crazy. No, no, we’re not doing this. Then I kept mentioning it, I kept mentioning in and showing him photos and YouTube videos of of home births. And finally he said, okay, you keep talking about this. So I understand that this is something you really want to do. So let’s meet with the midwives and discuss with them

and then kind of go from there.

Katelyn Fusco 17:02
And and you were saying these are the same midwives? Like this was the same midwifery practice whether you were going to give birth in the

hospital or at home, right?

Alla Fineza 17:10
Yes, that’s correct. So they are. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And, and I feel as though the universe perhaps led me down that path to give me that option. Because if I was with another practice, I would, I would not have had that I wouldn’t been able to do that, then I would have either had to completely switch practices, or stick with my original plan.

Katelyn Fusco 17:36
Yeah, that would have probably just been an extra hurdle for you to to help to help bridge the gap for your husband. That makes it a lot easier.

Alla Fineza 17:45
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And, you know, it was people that he would he already had met with and was comfortable with, I think that kind of helped also, because it wasn’t a completely new person coming out here to give their opinion. Right.

Katelyn Fusco 18:01
Very interesting. And also So okay, the way that that group works, I’m curious, where do they have? Like, where did you do your prenatal appointments?

Alla Fineza 18:10
So they have two offices, and I would go to either one of those offices to do my prenatal appointments, depending on my schedule, and then they have several midwives on staff. I think, at this point, they have even more staff. But they kind of rotate you around so that you meet different midwives? Because it’s not obviously it’s not a guarantee as to who’s going to show up the day of right, gotcha.

Katelyn Fusco 18:39
So it’s, it’s not like, Is it a hospital affiliated practice? Or is it just that they have privileges in the hospital and to get to do home births as well?

Alla Fineza 18:49
Yeah, they um, as far as I know, they’re not affiliated with hospital just as a standalone practice, I just that they have hospital privileges. At that point, it was only at one hospital, now they’re at the expanded to a second hospital to kind of broaden their reach. They also have a pediatric practice, where, you know, people can bring babies back there to get checked, and they do, you know, yearly exams, all those kind of things.

Katelyn Fusco 19:22
That’s a really exciting option. That’s very cool. Okay, great. Okay, so, so go on with your story, then. So you, your you and your husband go in to talk to them about the home birth option.

Alla Fineza 19:34
Right, so we went to speak to them about the home birth option. And at that point, I was, I believe, at 26 weeks, which is their cut off to accept our birth clients. So I was, you know, cutting it to the wire, and they told me, they told me that they would have to bring it up at their weekly meeting to see if I would qualify, and if they were willing to take it on. Also, depending on what their availability is, how many clients they already had booked for home birth, around my due date. So I was on pins and needles for the next week, and waiting to hear back from them. And then finally, I got a text back from the midwife saying, We reviewed your case, we think you’re a great candidate for home birth. So let’s go for it. And I don’t know, I just felt like Christmas came early. To me it was it was it was really great. So then we just we went from there. And then we had to attend home birth classes with them. It was a series of two classes where we went over what to do in case of emergency, you know, things to prepare, just just things so that we weren’t going into it blindly. The other thing that I really appreciated about this practice is they made things very easy for us, they provided the pool, they gave us a detailed list, I have supplies that we needed, they provided a lot of the supplies for us to that I’ve seen other people have to purchase on their own. And also, because they are nurse midwives, it was covered by my insurance, which is you know, significant. Because I know people who literally go in debt to have a home birth and if I had to, I probably would as well. But it was nice to nice to have that option. And the day of there were two midwives that came with an assistant. So there was a lot of hands on deck to to help out.

Katelyn Fusco 21:44
I love that I love how it’s usually it’s not usually just one person, you know, they pretty consistently have a second, who is there for you know, the baby or if there were to be any emergent event that arises and then to have an assistant on top of that, but fantastic.

Alla Fineza 22:01
Mm hmm. I had also hired a doula to be with me. Partially, my motivation for the doula was because I wanted my daughter to be at home with us. She was she was going to be three and a half at that time. And I didn’t really tell too many family members and I didn’t feel that I wanted family members in the home when I was in labor and delivering so the doula was going to be there for me, but then also to possibly take care of my daughter if need be. And the day of she was priceless to me, because I’ve heard this from other women before I kind of developed like an aversion to my husband. When I was when I was in when I was in labor. Yeah. Because like when he touched me, it felt like fire. It felt like fire on my skin. I didn’t want him anywhere near me. And then on my doula came her name is Renee. It was like, so peaceful and calming. And her hands were so cool. And I know that’s all in the moment. That’s all I remember. just heard like cool hands on me. And it just it felt so good and calming. And a big relief for me.

Katelyn Fusco 23:26
I love that that’s such a isn’t it. So interesting how all of the hormones and just the way that labor plays out? It’s, it’s always uncertain how you’re going to feel about. Yeah, yeah. And I had I had heard about

Alla Fineza 23:40
that from from others. And it was, it was a stark contrast to my first labor. Because during my first labor, I had my my mom and my husband in the delivery room. And I really wanted my husband next to me as as my support person. And then the second time around, I was like, Don’t me, no, go No. Go, but it’s a completely different feeling. That’s so funny.

Katelyn Fusco 24:07
So your first birth, I wanted to hit on this, you said that, you know, it did go pretty quickly. What was the total time that you were in labor?

Alla Fineza 24:17
Um, so my contractions started the evening before, somewhere late in the evening, then we went to the hospital. I got admitted maybe around seven 8am. And she it was it was very quick, I had told you before they they broke my water. And at that point, I was at five centimeters. But I had I had an epidural. So I was numb and I wasn’t really feeling anything. And the doctor told my husband, you know, don’t worry, it’s gonna it’s gonna be some time, why don’t you go have a coffee, relax, I’m going to go do some paperwork, and I’ll come back. So he went out to the had something to eat. Actually, he was he stayed, he went down to the cafeteria. Because in his head, he thought, like, let me just stay close by just just in case. And about 10 minutes later, a nurse checked me and started yelling, the head is coming out, the head is coming out. Don’t push, don’t push. And my mom called him and was like he needs to come he to come back right away because the baby’s coming out. And then after that I pushed, I was pushing. And so this little kind of time. So story too. So my epidural, about halfway through the labor, I started feeling the contractions again, and I was in a lot of pain. So they had jacked up my epidural, to the point where I got so numb that I couldn’t feel anything. And when I was pushing, nothing was happening. So they ended up turning the epidural off. And once the baby, you know, after 20 minutes of pushing and the baby was coming out, I wasn’t nominee more, but at that point, I didn’t care, you know, I wanted her out. But that that, you know, muscle strain in combination with being in my back on my back, which is not a natural position to give birth. I was so sore afterwards. I couldn’t. I was I was nauseous and vomiting from pain.

I couldn’t walk straight for at least a week.

You know, so that was that was also just another kind of traumatizing experience for me and why I wanted to do things differently the second time around.

Katelyn Fusco 26:36
Oh, that makes so much sense. And so with this labor was was it like that in the in the sense of its time? Like was it very quick? or How did it? How did it progress?

Alla Fineza 26:48
My second labor? Mm hmm. Oh, it was it was very, very fast. So much the second one, you know, so she was almost a week late. Okay, I was I was a week past my due date. And in New Jersey, if if you go two weeks past your due date you risk out of the home birth, right? They legally I don’t know if it’s like them other states or maybe other midwives, it doesn’t apply to them. But this practice, if you’re at 42 weeks, they can’t deliver you at

Katelyn Fusco 27:22
42 weeks is is oftentimes the cutoff. Oh, okay. She’s frustrating.

Alla Fineza 27:27
Okay, so I was, you know, I was pretty anxious and nervous to kind of make sure that things are moving along. So I was doing every, you know, homemade trick and remedy bouncing on yoga balls and different supplements and spicy eggplant, whatever, whatever was on that list. I went, I went down the entire list trying to get things moving along. So I had, you know, just I have gotten tricked by the midwives the day before. And, you know, they said, Okay, well, minute, we’ll just kind of give you another couple days, see how how things are. And I woke up. In the middle of the night, I was kind of feeling uncomfortable. So I went to the bath. You know, at that point, I’m 41 weeks, I’m already really uncomfortable. And I went to the bathroom because I was kind of having a sharp pain. And after sitting for a couple minutes, I realized like, Okay, I’m I think I’m having real contractions at this point. When I started timing them, because it’s the same thing I did the first time. And it progressed very quickly. The first span from one contraction to the next was 45 minutes. The next one was 15. And the third one was 509. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in my head, I was like, Okay, I need to start calling people because everybody is an hour away from me. And they need they need time to get here. So I, you know, woke up my husband and I was like, we’re in labor, I’m in labor, we start filling up the pool. And I think that it was like around 5am or so at that point. And my contractions were very, very rapid, one after the other. So I was just kind of pacing around my living room trying to find some, some comfort, some relief. And I had during my pregnancy, I didn’t have any formal classes, like I looked into hip, no birthing and Bradley method, things like that, but they just didn’t work out with my work schedule. So I didn’t do anything. You know, any classes, but I just did different guided meditations through YouTube videos. And I had made positive affirmations that I hung up all over all over the room where I was going to be birthing and I would go in there every day and read those affirmations You know, my body is made to do this, I am stronger than my my pain. And I still have them I’m saving them sentimentally So, so I made up this mantra in my head whenever I would get nervous or scared about the upcoming birth. And I would say this is the birth that I wanted. So when things got really heavy, that’s just what I kept chanting, I just kept chanting, this is the birth that I wanted. This is the birth that I wanted, you know, like, like, I’m scared now. But this is this is what I wanted, and I can get through it. So I just remember being on all fours, my living room floor and hearing the door open and the midwives coming in. And I just let out this big sigh of relief like, okay, now it’s gonna be okay, now we’re not, we’re not alone. You know, we’ll be okay. So they they checked me. And I was pretty far along at that point. They got me into the tub. It was about 20 to 30 minutes of pushing. And, and the baby came out. So from my first contraction until she was out, it was three hours. Wow. And what time did you do like it arrive? She got there around the same time. So everybody got there, like an hour before the baby was born? Gotcha. Yeah, so it was it was really, really fast.

Katelyn Fusco 31:45
So what was that water birth experience like for you to do?

Alla Fineza 31:48
Oh, it was Yeah, it was amazing. And even though I mean, the the contractions were were really intense. I, I never felt like, I’m going to diary. Now I can get through this, you know, I knew that they were intense for a reason, and that it was bringing me to a point. Once I got into the water, it was immediate relief. Not that I didn’t have any pain at all after that, but it was much more manageable. I felt myself relaxing a lot more, I was able to kind of move around into different positions, and the midwives and my doula were helping to kind of move me around to see if that would help progress things. And I remember actually, at one, one point, hearing this loud pop, and seeing this fluid gush out and they said, Okay, that’s, you know, your water breaking, so the baby is probably going to be coming soon. And I think it was like another one or two pushes after that, and the baby was out. And what’s what’s interesting is, so I, during the pregnancy, we didn’t find out the gender of the Okay, I really, I really wanted to be surprised. And I had told them, I don’t want anybody announcing the gender I want, you know, I want to I want to reach down and pull up the baby. And then either me or my husband will announce the gender. And then so, you know, I pulled the baby up, and I was I was holding the baby against my chest. And after a couple of minutes, they said, Do you want to take a look and see if


And I remember just opening the baby’s legs. And, and and saying and kind of scratching my eyes and saying I’m too scared to look I’m too scared to look, just look. And my husband looked and he said it’s a girl. And, and we started crying because I was 99% sure that it was a boy, I in my, in my heart I really wanted a girl.

Because I have

Yes, I really wanted a girl because I I already have one girl. So part of me for practical purposes of you know, hand me downs and things like that. It’s just a lot easier to to have the same gender. But also, I’m an only child and I’d always observed sibling relationships and felt that there was just something really special between the bond of same sex siblings. And I’m getting a little teary eyed. And my daughter, my daughter had always wanted a sister ever since she could talk. She was just always Sister Sister Sister. She would run up to random girls at stores yelling sister

Katelyn Fusco 34:47
Oh, hug trying to hug them.

Alla Fineza 34:50
So I was like, you know, praying I was when when we were this the second baby was planned. So when when I you know was we were conceiving her I I really prayed for for a second girl. But for some reason, I thought that it was going to be a boy. So I was trying to get my daughter used to that idea. And you know, and I said how you know, what would you think about if it was a boy? And she’s like, No, you can just take it back. Just take it back and get it get a girl.

That’s okay. That’s okay, mom. Yeah, yeah, thanks for the offer. But no, yeah, yeah. And I kept telling

her, you know, it might might be might be a boy. And she had a baby boy cousin at that time. And I said, wouldn’t that be fun? You know, just like him. She’s like, No, I want a sister. Yeah, she’s like, stop telling me that it’s a boy. It’s, it’s a girl. It’s a girl. Like, okay, fine. So she was she was very, very excited. During the labor, I ended up not, she was not she was awake. But she was not in the room with us. Because we had we had the tub set up in a spare bedroom, and you know, the tub with the midwives around everybody there but kind of really wasn’t extra room. And I just didn’t want her to be scared of that experience. And what’s interesting, now, she tells me that she wishes we brought her in the room. Whoa. So, you know, I don’t know. Yeah.

Katelyn Fusco 36:18
So interesting. But it that’s one of those things that you just have to decide in the moment. You know, like, that’s great that you were willing to, to have that as an open ended option, you know, having a doula there that could take care of your husband and your daughter, Should she want to be involved? Or should she not want to be involved and giving that opportunity for like, Okay, well, even if she wasn’t in the room, she was involved in the birth, she was at home when her sister came into the world. That’s, that’s really incredible.

Alla Fineza 36:48
Yeah, yeah. And that was that was also really important for me, and why I wanted to keep her home versus, you know, having a family member to come pick her up, like we have my in laws live less than a mile away from us, I could have easily called them and told them to come get her. But I wanted her to feel like she was involved. And that it wasn’t, you know, like, oh, here’s this new baby. And here, now you’re showing up in tuning into the picture, you know, so while I was still in the tub, waiting for the placenta to come out, they my husband got our daughter brought her in the room, you know, she got to see the baby. And then, you know, took her out for a little bit so that I could get out and get cleaned up a little bit. And then we just move right over into the bed. And all of us were were in the bed together. And I felt like that was such a special experience and a great bonding moment for them. Yeah. And then and then, you know, she got to assist the midwives with weighing the baby and checking the baby. And it was, it was incredible.

Katelyn Fusco 38:02
Oh, that is so beautiful. And so now this baby is, is to write coming up on


Alla Fineza 38:08
She’s going to be two. Yeah.

Katelyn Fusco 38:09
Oh my goodness. So what is that relationship like now the sibling relationship. Um, it’s, they have their moments, for sure.

Alla Fineza 38:18
Especially, especially, you know, two girls. So, you know, everything was fun, until the baby started moving around and touching, touching the older ones toys, and things like that. But they have, they have a very special bond. They really love each other. My older one is are very good big sister. She’s very conscious and aware of the baby and really helps out a lot. And I think that, you know, some of that, I do believe that it goes back to the home birth and having her involved and always feeling like in our one unit. Like we’re all in it together.

Katelyn Fusco 39:03
Right? Like this is our baby.

Alla Fineza 39:05
Yes, yeah. Yeah. And actually, it’s funny you say that, like, I have a video of her, my older one. Like, kind of caressing the baby. And I was like, right after her, we kind of got settled. And she’s you know, caressing the baby. And she’s saying,

Unknown Speaker 39:23
Oh, it’s my baby. My baby. Oh, that’s so beautiful. Yeah, yeah, it’s very, really awesome. When I think about it. Wow.

Katelyn Fusco 39:34
Well, what would you say to a mom? who is considering home birth? What What advice do you have coming from someone who has experienced both the hospital and the home birth?

Alla Fineza 39:45
I just just go for it just birth is really, it’s the best. Now I understand that a lot of a lot of women and couples are, are scared of the unknown. You know, what to do in case of emergency, you know, anything like that. And, you know, you have to do your research, you have to figure out what you’re comfortable with. But our bodies were designed to do this. And, you know, obviously, there are cases where there are complications, and maybe high risk pregnancies that aren’t suitable for home birth. Maybe they, you know, need more closer monitoring. You know, I understand that, but in majority of cases, in healthy pregnancies, you don’t need a hospital. And, and also, midwives are trained to recognize any type of emergencies, and they will transfer to the hospital if need be. And that’s something that I discussed, you know, with my midwives, what are the scenarios where you would transfer somebody either to the hospital where you have privileges, which is actually 45 minutes from my house? So, you know, if if they see that something is not going the right way, then they, you know, go there? Or what cases do you transfer in an emergency to the hospital, that’s five minutes down the road. So right,

all all those things are, are discussed.

And I can easily say that my home birth was one of the best experiences of my life. I don’t know too many women that describe their births as as amazing. I felt, I just felt so good. Even my recovery. With the second one versus the first one, I was up walking around, I really had to force myself to stay in bed. Yeah, relax. But I felt incredible. Energy felt I felt completely different. And it was such a relief not to not to have to go somewhere and you know, just just be home. And I mean, I don’t know how everybody feels about the hospital. But hospitals are. They’re not like they’re not clean places. Right? Even. There’s there’s a lot of stuff going on in hospitals. There’s actually in New York, New Jersey right now a big controversy going on where they tested in hospitals, even like the curtains and things around and are finding like high concentrations of bacteria and staff and all these things. It’s like, you know, why would you want to expose your your newborn to that? I don’t know. Just, and I’m really enjoying. Yeah, yeah, I’m just really, really full for the way the universe led me down this path. If I had had a home birth, the first time around, I may have had five kids at this point, I don’t know. We, we’ve discussed the possibility of having more children in the future. And because of the home birth, it’s really the only reason I would even consider is so that I could

experience home birth again.

Katelyn Fusco 43:27
Yeah, I totally understand that. I think it makes a huge difference. It really, because it’s just so empowering. Like, what a brilliant way to enter into motherhood, just feeling so strong and capable. Knowing what you can do and what you can accomplish. Yeah,

Alla Fineza 43:43
yeah. And, and not even just the birth, but even,

you know, because we had the birth and then,

you know, they checked the baby, they checked me. My doula made breakfast for us kind of helped me. You know, the troubleshooting some breastfeeding things. And then everybody left. And it was it was just us. And also just the empowerment at that point of taking care of this baby and not relying on other people. It really changed my perception in parenting and made me realize that I have much more power than I thought before.

Katelyn Fusco 44:25
Wow, that’s incredible. Yeah. I feel like the birth story, it. It’s just it stays around forever. It’s not just the birth story. It’s not just this one day, it lasts forever and leaves an impact. So it’s really, really beautiful to hear how incredible your second one was. But Alan, thank you so much for coming on. It was really incredible to hear both of your stories, the way that you transition, the way that your family transition, and your husband’s opinions how they changed. I loved hearing all of it.

Alla Fineza 45:00
Thank you so much. Thank you for having me on now. Just really great experience for me.

Katelyn Fusco 45:06
Man, guys, sometimes Garage Band does me dirty. I’m super disappointed right now because I actually already recorded these this episode roundup once and at the very end of it, Lillian sneezed, and it was absolutely the cutest thing that I’ve ever heard in my life like number one episode for sure. And it is gone. So here I go back to recording the episode roundup sans adorable sneeze. I do want to jump in really quickly and give you a few takeaways that I thought were really fascinating in our discussion, so elements and several amazing benefits of home birth, the peacefulness of giving birth in your own home, the beauty of having a small and loving support team to help you settle in and even troubleshoot postpartum. And the cleanliness compared to the massive amount of bacteria and infection that can be found at the hospital. All incredibly valid reasons to just Home, home birth. It has a way of drawing us back in Allah admits that because of their beautiful birthing experience the idea of another baby. It’s not such a bad idea. And personally being friends with Allah on Instagram. I’m going to go ahead and say I vote for yes Allah more babies. The ones that you have right now are so cute. Speaking of Instagram, if you guys will take a screenshot right now, upload it to your Instagram Stories tagging happy home birth podcast, I will be sure to feature you in mine as well. That is all I have for you guys for this week. I am loving all of the changes that are coming our way and I hope you’re excited for the ride. So I look forward to seeing you back here next week.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai